The One With Ross's Sandwich

Inspired by Friend's reruns, I was going to bring this to work for dinner... but then I ate it.

Monika's Moist Maker

Sometimes, More Is More

Cupcake, originally uploaded by scoobers

Cupcake season has officially arrived! The air outside is cool(er). Ovens are fired up. Bloggers are baking. Each time I log on I see cupcakes galore and the places where I don't see cupcakes I find people seeking them out. Lori, this is yet another tortuous post for you to endure during your prenatal cravings. Apologies!

Today, my friend, KB turned thirty-six years old and so I thought I would officially ring in cupcake season by whipping up a batch of my own special*, sprinkled, delights for her. I planned to make enough so that her 'herd' would be able to enjoy them as well. I filled the cups half way with batter so I could stretch it out and make more of them. I ended up with cakes not mushrooming over the tops of their tinfoil incubators but resembling golden brown hockey pucks. In order to compensate for the missing tops I layered the sweet, delicious vanilla cream frosting on pretty thick.

On her way over to my house tonight, KB received a phone call from the family of one of our patients who told her that he had lost his year long battle with cancer. It was pretty tough to hear because I know they made every effort, tried every option and that he fought with everything he had. The family is super tight, as is the bond between my patient and his brother. I pray that he finds the means to make it though such a difficult time.

Now, I can't sleep because my mind is running in circles, again, over the reactions of others towards choices I have made and continue to make. Earlier tonight, KB and I drove out to the hospital together to visit another patient of ours. On the way there I told her that a couple of the other nurses shook their heads in a disapproving manner when they found out that we visit our patients after they are moved to ICU or keep in touch with them or their families after they are discharged. We talked about the line that should not be crossed and how to know when you've reached it.

During the conversation between KB and our patient's brother he told her that 'D' told him to let, specifically, the two of us know that he felt truly cared for by us. Going beyond our 'work' in the hospital made a difference in his life and the appreciation for that was voiced by his family. This only solidifies my thinking that our patients are still our patients whether or not we see them when we clock in to work and that taking the time, our own time, to make sure they are taken care of makes a difference in how they perceive the 'care' they get. I plan to continue giving more of myself to my patients and their families. If this means that I become attached to some of them and end up hurting because of an unfortunate outcome then so be it. The sorrow I feel is nothing compared to what they must go through and if spending time with them, crying with them and following up with their families after they've gone is what it takes for them to know that their caregivers truly care, then that is what I need to do.

Right now, I am going to go to the kitchen to soothe myself with cupcakes, extra extra frosting and a big glass of ice cold milk.

*By 'my own' I mean my own box of Betty Crocker vanilla cake mix and white vanilla frosting.

Foie Gras

Nothing delicate about this delicacy.

I was watching a movie with Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette, called In Her Shoes. It was swell. I liked it. I especially loved Toni Collette's boyfriend. So cute, caring, cultured. The three "C's"... all very important. Anyway, when he takes her out to eat for the first time he tells her that he is an expert at ordering food. "Let me take you out to dinner. I'll order for you. You'll want to eat with me for the rest of your life." Love that line. He mentions Foie Gras in this scene. Being the uncultivated restauranteur that I am, I had to look it up. Oh man.

First off, it's duck (or goose). I had ducks for pets so for me this would be like eating dog. Never have and never will. Yes, it could be argued that I had fish as pets too but I don't make it a habit of eating GOLDfish. Ducks, dogs, goldfish... all safe with me.

Second, it is liver. Enough said. Yuck.

Third, Google produced a website that contained a video that demonstrated how the livers of said water-foul are made to be the fattiest and tastiest livers for the diners' delight. One word, disturbing. No, wait... more words: deplorable, inhumane, selfish, evil... I am sickened.

The ducks are kept in cages while tubes containing fat and grain are shoved down their throats. They are force fed to the point that their livers become 10x the normal size. The ducks are disposed of and their diseased livers served as foie gras.

I will save those of you who already know about this from watching the video but here is a link to the website/video for those who don't. This video was shot in France but foie gras is produced the same way in the States.

During the whole Michael Vick thing, I sent an email to Nike and the NFL telling them that they not only support a cruel human being but that he represents them and that if they cared about the image they put out there they would leave their cross-trainers up his ass on his way out the door. Upon hearing that I sent such an email, a friend said, "Oh, are you one of those?".
When it matters, I guess maybe I am.

If you are:

Here is a link to a list of restaurants that still serve foie gras.

Please, sign the Petition that may help to ban the cruel practices that produce Foie Gras in the United States or visit the PETA website for more information on how to get your state to ban restaurants from purchasing from those that utilize inhumane practices in order to serve this "delicacy".

Weekly News: Tofu, Life and Passing

Asian Chicken Salad from Pei Wei...
minus chicken, plus tofu

My wonderful extern, 'K', and HUS, 'V', were so awesome and went out to get us food for dinner at work last night. The consensus was Pei Wei, a step down from the pricey PF Chang's, but equally yummy. One of the ICU nurses, who happens to be a vegetarian recommended the Asian Chicken Salad but instead of chicken, tofu. Keeping with my low carb, low lipid diet, I decided that this was a good option and decided to try something new. So this week's new experience helped me to stay on course. They forgot the ginger dressing (which everyone who had tried it before claimed it to be "fabulous") so I tried it plain... the mint leaves were somewhat overpowering so I resorted to Newman's Own Italian (my favorite and loaded with bad stuff... so just a drizzle). It was pretty good and I would order it again. I expected tofu to be mushy white ick but it was pretty darn firm and tasty. I was actually surprised that it LOOKED a lot like chicken strips.
On another note... work news. A patient that I had been taking care of for the last four nights passed away. The multitude of family that was there at the beginning of the shift had just left, except for two. I was there with his son and his wife when he took his last breath. It is an indescribable experience to witness such a thing. My heart went out to his family as he came in a few nights ago, walking, talking, laughing, waiting for treatment when things took a turn for the worse. Such a nice person in general. I am so glad that my patient had family there with him when he finally left this earth. Mostly though, I am glad his son decided to stay. He was the one I was most concerned about because he did not seem ready to lose his dad. He will now have this moment and memory that he was there for his dad in his final hour. He passed quietly and peacefully.
When I tell people that I work on an oncology unit I get asked quite a bit if losing patients bothers me or if it gets too depressing. Yes, I have to admit that it is overwhelming at times but for the most part I am grateful that I am able to make such a difficult time for people a little more bearable a burden. When he finally passed, I was sad for the family. I took a long look at my patient and felt more sad knowing what a decent person he was and what a loss it is that he is gone.
It's funny though, that while I was alone with him, cleaning him, packing up his things, that I only began to tear up when I saw, among his clothing, some nice pants, shoes and a pair of suspenders. I'm not sure why it affected me like it did but I can see him not as a patient but as a person I could have said "hello" to at the grocery store or walking down the street.

I am so glad that I do what I do.

Weekly News: Vanilla Soy

For this week's new experience I am making a change.

Several people I know have told me that their triglyceride and cholesterol levels are high. A doctor of one of these people actually detected a plaque in her carotid artery. Just last week I had my levels drawn and am still waiting for the results. I really want both of us to work on bringing our levels to normal (or below), as I have a significant family history of heart disease, heart attacks and strokes. I have taken care of people who have had strokes and all I can say is that I DO NOT want to end up living my life the way some are destined to after that sort of event. My friend has been doing well with the changes she's made and I hope she keeps it up. She is very important to me and words can not describe what I would feel if something happened to her.
In the spirit of getting healthier (and thinner), I decided to make some changes in the way I exercise and eat. A small change, but hopefully a beneficial one, I have taken the advice of a fellow healthy person. He suggested replacing milk (the HORROR!) with Soy milk. Today, I did.
It's yellow. It's sweet. It tastes nothing like milk.
I love milk.
I'm going to miss it... after this gallon is gone : ).


*6/21/07 2148 Addendum: Great. I just now checked voice mail from the last two days. Dr's office called to report my labs are back. They want me to call them and schedule a follow up appointment regarding my lipids. I should have known... but I thought I was doing so well!

SPF: Back to Basics

YOUR SPF ASSIGNMENT: June 15th, 2007

– Back –

My back has been out since last Thursday. Let’s see your back..or the back of something..or sing baby got back and YouTube it. Doesn’t matter to me. You get to show me ‘your’ back.

PB&J, originally uploaded by scoobers1.

I didn't really want to take a picture of my literal back so I decided to go Back to Basics. How much more basic can you get than peanut butter and jelly? Suddenly, I'm reminiscing about kindergarten, long summers, my Grammas and home. I can think of quite a few comfort foods but nothing stands the test of time like a good ol' PB&J. The only difference now-a-days... whole grain wheat bread and crusts left on. Still delicious!

Weekly News: Cherry Garcia

Cherry Garcia, originally uploaded by scoobers1.

I was out grocery shopping and decided to pick up some ice cream. Being a chocoholic, I will usually opt for anything chocolate over a fruity flavor. This time, though, I decided to try something new, so I tossed Cherry Garcia into the basket. I know, I really went out on a limb for this new experience.
Anyway, to my surprise... IT HAS FUDGE IN IT! Bonus! I had no idea.
What a nice way to end the day.