Grand Total of Trick-or-Treaters this year? A Big FAT zero.
The.candy.is.MINE.
***
You sat picking ticks off of your dog. We dug holes in your front yard and buried them in small coffins that once held candy bats and Draculas. I wonder if they are still there.
I am a participant in x365.
Act I, Scene I: My parents called to tell me that Scoobie was alive again. Somehow she was back, so I went to their house to see her. She looked completely different. Her hair was long and matted. Her eyes looked old and diseased with cataracts. She was weak and could barely move. She lifted her head and tried to get up to come to me but her back legs did not seem to work. I rushed to her and laid down on the floor next to her. I pet her ears and head and kissed her, telling her I loved her. She died right there while I was laying with her. Jackie came around with yellow eyes, looking like a ferocious, rabid SS police dog. She darted around the corner and I did not see her again. Red, brown and yellow leaves blew around the backyard.
Act I, Scene II: I was in a convenience store that was located within a complex of condominiums/resort. There was a large pool area with a waterfall that I could see through the large window in the back. I ran into an old friend, DP, greeted him and gave him a hug. I told him that Christine was around somewhere and should be here shortly. Then we ran into an ex-boyfriend of mine. We all stood around talking for a while when, during the conversation, I came to understand that we were to be married the next day. I froze and started to panic a little because this man had really hurt me in the past and wasn't sure when all of this had transpired. Mommy came around the corner carrying a pack of gum and other things she had picked up. Daddy was carrying a financial investment magazine of some kind. I flipped though it briefly. They seemed to be aware of the next day's plans so I hesitantly shrugged off my confusion and apprehension.
GW and I went to my childhood bedroom, sat on my bed and and lay together on the afghan Gramma Marcy had crocheted for me when I was little. We had a brief 'frollick' and blankets were everywhere. Just before the interaction became ultimately intimate (for lack of better wording and censorship) he sat up on the end of the bed and turned his back to me. His head hung very low. I immediately was angry and annoyed at the way he seemed to be sulking for attention. When he spoke, his tone exuded indifference and hatefulness. He stood up to dress. Cautiously, I questioned him why he was acting the way he was and received only a dead blank stare. Then he said that the wedding was tomorrow and that I shouldn't make so much of things. I told him then and there that there was no way I could marry him if this was the way things were going to be. Christine and DP came into the room at this time to collect me and we all walked out together.
I would like to introduce you to my sister, Laura. She is new to blogspot, blogging and blogs in general. After much hinting, prodding and flat out telling them they need to start up their own, Laura is the first in my family to jump on the bandwagon. To join the masses.
She started her blog as journal for herself and as a way to keep her husband, Jerry, updated during his deployment to Iraq. He left last Saturday.
I was working on a paper for which I had researched illicit drug use in adolescents. After completion, my paper would be presented to a magazine for possible publishing. My article was about methamphetamine use and the effects it has on teenagers and the lives of people who care for them. It was submitted to Rolling Stone through an intricate pneumatic tube system. In order to get their reply I had to use a different method of tubes. After pouring water down some clear neoprene, I watched it roll and fall out of sight until the water flowed back up and tube began to fill. I put my ear to it to listen to their response. A man's voice told me that they loved the article but unfortunately it was too graphic and 'scary' to publish. (Almost famous?)
On the way home, I drove on a freeway that passed over Disney Land. I could see the Small World off to my right. The man I was driving with told me which roadways to take since I was unfamiliar with California freeways. I made it back to the friends' house where I was staying. They lived in some sort of a small commune that housed several Duplexes that surrounded a central courtyard with dead grass. Their house looked as if it were all bedrooms. No kitchen or living area, just a long hall with sleeping areas. Even though there were many beds they told me there was no room for me to stay so I ended up in their neighbor's garage on a little canvas stretcher. Everything was coated in a thick layer of dust and smelled damp and of mildew. When I woke, their neighbor came out and told me that I needed to clean up the mess, which included piles of old oil filters, dryer lint balls, coffee cans filled with nuts and bolts and baby diapers (used and unused). After finishing, I walked back across the courtyard and spotted my dad, outside, watching a game on a television. My mom was gardening. Hotel California was playing.
When I needed to leave my dad told me to stay because the game had three quarters left to go. Somehow, he was equating the amount of time left in the game to how much daylight was left. I argued that I was going to be late. The sun was sinking decidedly fast, I didn't know where I was going and was afraid to drive home on the freeways.
My choices for a ride were a little convertible matchbox-type car or an old refrigerator. When I decided to take the mini car out, my dad told me that he preferred that I use the fridge. I opened the freezer door and the fridge part was filling with water. So, I told my dad that the last time I drove the fridge the door kept swinging shut in my face and I couldn't see anything. I ended up driving away in the little car, dwarfed by SUVs and semis with the cool wind in my hair.
My parents were supposed to be going out of town. MK, ChM, JPed were going to spend the night at my parents house, like a sleepover for grownups. All of us and Christine were playing some sort of "Never have I ever..." or "I would rather..." game in the living room. There were more people there who were sitting around on floor and couches. MK said that JPed couldn't dictate where we should be and what we should do and wanted to move somewhere else so I went down the hall to find a new place. I opened my parent's bedroom door to find that Daddy was in there sleeping in the evening darkness and on the left side of the bed. Puzzled and a little worried, I went out to tell the others that my dad was still there. ChM got up off the floor and started gathering her things. She decided she didn't want to stay if my mom and dad were going to be home. She said it was bullshit and that she was under the impression that my parents wouldn't be there. Then she asked me if I would go with her to make a phone call to let someone know she wouldn't be staying. I did but I couldn't imagine who she would be calling. It turned out to be a guy she was seeing and she was going to go out with him instead. I couldn't help feeling that somehow we all disapproved of him.
MK decided we should all go out. We got ready, picked out what we were going to wear and left. We ended up at a bar with different levels. The top level was a club. It was dark, cold and loud. Tons of people were drinking and dancing. It opened up to an outside area where there was a balcony that looked over the bottom level that was more like a restaurant. It was warm outside and people were sitting around on the benches and tables, drinking and talking. I was looking over the balcony watching the people downstairs. Directly below was this guy who was sitting with his back to me. I was looking down on sweaty, hairy ass crack decked out in black pleather. Later, Christine came upstairs to tell me she had started making out with him before she realized he was a disgusting wet, hairy beast with bad breath.
The club was part of a much bigger building and somehow we all ended up getting lost inside of it. We were riding elevators to different floors. One had a library with tall ceilings that made it echo. Another was like a little boutique. We rode the elevator down and were making our way through a maze of huge columns of cement and stone. We happened upon a couple of people who appeared to have come from the club, by the way they were dressed and smelled like cigarette smoke. They told us they could help us get out. They said they were medical students and then gave us valium and duragesic patches to chew on, saying it would help us to relax. It was very Alice In Wonderlandish. We chewed on the plastic and went on our way.
On the day I was found
All the kids gathered round
The girls spoke up
And they said "Gotta take this one home"
They could tell right away
That I was glam to the bone
Glam to the bone
Glam to the bone
G-G-G-G-Glam to the bone
G-G-G-G-Glam
G-G-G-G-Glam
I chewed a thousand shoes
Before I met you
I'll chew your Minolo & Choo's, baby
Before I am through
I wanna poo on your floor, pretty baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to bark at you, honey
Cause I'm glam to the bone
Glam to the bone
G-G-G-Glam
G-G-G-Glam
Glam to the bone
I make the neighbors yell
I'll make the mailman run
Wreck your house all to hell
But I'll be lots of fun
I wanna pee on your burbur, baby
Yours and yours alone
I'm here to whine at you, honey
Cause I'm glam to the bone
G-G-G-G-Glam
G-G-G-G-Glam
G-G-G-G-Glam
Glam to the bone
~Written by Scoobers
~Inspired by the Dookster, her new sweatshirt and George Thorogood and the Destroyers.
Dookie would like to give her thanks to K.B. and her herd, without which she would not be where she is today. She loves her sweatshirt!
THANK YOU!
Glamour Girl
A gentle and kind person. You were thin, frail, had broken bones and were sick a lot. You spoke softly with a shaky, feeble voice. You seemed 100 years old to me. You were probably forty-five.
I am a participant in x365.
Plastic sunflowers line your banister. Your rubber stamp collection on display. Magnets, buttons, figurines, and do-dads galore. There is something everywhere but the ultimate is PeeWee Herman sitting on your mantle wearing a Beatles pin.
I am a participant in x365.
We were driving down a neighborhood street. It was dusty and windy and dark. I'm not sure where we were headed. Me, Christine and my ex-boyfriend were plowing down a dirt road in this huge, green, boat-of-a-car. We skidded to a stop in front of an old house that appeared to be part of a ghost town or movie set at Old Tucson. Something was after us so we ran inside to get away from whatever it was.
Christine and MyEx ran around the corner, down the hallway and through the next door. I tried to follow and got to the end of the hallway when the dark figure came swiftly up and cornered me there. He held out a blade, shaped like a half-moon, and said, "This is what you get for not doing as I say." He held the blade to my throat and pushed. The last thing I remember was the blade going all the way through my throat and envisioning that I was looking down my own trachea which looked like a long, red, sucking tube. I wasn't panicked or franticly trying to get away. I just let it happen. Sure it would be my last, I took a deep breath of warm air and then I woke up.
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Ninety-four. Wars. Genocide. Cancer. Loss. I can not begin to imagine the pain you have experienced. I wish you were not always so grief stricken, so sad. Please know that you are loved by many.
I am a participant in x365.
If technology was sufficiently advanced, would you be willing to clone yourself?
My own mini-me?! : D
I could take me home and raise me as my own! I could sing to me and play with me. Joke with me and laugh with (not at) me. I could take me to see Gramma Mommy and Grampa Daddy (uh... how weird would that be?) We could play with our sisters, niece and nephew (who would be older than my mini-me).
When I grow up I could give me all the answers to the questions I was too afraid to ask. I would explain to me in a way I would understand, why I was not allowed to attend the Def Leppard concert at 14 and a slew of other things that might make me an angry and resentful tennager towards the grown-up me. I would kick my ass if I ever caught myself smoking or drinking underage, among other things, and warn me why driving into a road containing a storm drain during monsoons is a bad idea. I would never let me get away with the things I know I am about to do (because I know myself so well). I would let me do all things I know would make me a happy, confident adult. I could fill me with the wisdom of my experiences so that I may be a new-and-improved-younger-thinner-smoother-less-sun-damaged version of myself.
Besides, I'm a blast! It would be fun to have me around! ; )
At the local grocery store you see an elderly woman shoplift a chicken. Do you tell the management?
Nah! She is not hurting anyone and I do not like to cause trouble so let her steal the chicken. Also, I would feel very badly if, because of me, she ended up with a misdemeanor on her record and was forced to eat her cat's kibble when she returns home from her incarceration.
If you could be 8 years old again for an entire day, knowing what you know now, how would you spend it?
Being September, I would skip school with my friends and my sister to go swimming at the park. We'd climb in our tree fort, carve our initials and then play kick ball. On the way home, we'd raid the nearest Circle K, drink ThirstBusters, eat HUGE chewy Sweet Tarts, Skittles and Bazooka gum. We'd go back to my parents, make mac n' cheese, watch Mtv and practice our dance routines. After my parents got home we'd play in the yard, catch lizards, and go for a swim. Since it is cloudy and is going to rain (because I said), we would all go inside, set up our sleeping bags in the living room, get in our Garfield PJ's and have a movie marathon. Then we'd have a seance and play 'Light As a Feather, Stiff As a Board'. We'd stay up late telling jokes, gossiping and laughing until my mom comes out for "...the last time!" We'd be quiet until the coast was clear and sneak out in our jammies to go back to the park. We'd do 'cherry drops', 'shooting stars' and 'around-the-world's' on the bars. We'd slide head first into the sand and swing on the swings until the sun came up and I turned 34 again.
*Update: Momma Clone is upset about 8 year old me's activities. I should know better than to be out after hours without adult supervision. Bad me. Grounded til further notice.
**Updating the update: I've been placed in detention for ditching class and not knowing what month it is.