Did You Know...

"...the human head weighs EIGHT POUNDS!"
Johnathan Lipnicki in Jerry Maguire

Also, the average length of the human intestine is approximately 25 feet long.



Setting: In my patient's room a few hours after giving him a pretty potent concoction of stool softeners.

Him: What ever that was that you gave me sure did the trick!

Me: Oh good! I'm glad to hear that. That's what I'm here for!

Him: By the way. How long ARE a person's intenstines?

Me: (thinking this is going somewhere I don't necessarily want to go) I'm not sure. Maybe 20 feet. That would be my best guess but I can go look it up if you want. Why? (Why I asked why was purely habitual and impulsive. Ok. Maybe I was a tad curious.)

Him: Because I think I pooped about eight feet.

Me: (laughing) And lost about eight pounds.




My job is done here.

Conversations

According to the Local on the 8's
Currently In My Area

Rain Showers
60°F

Feels Like
60°F

Updated: Dec 7 05:45 p.m. MT

Setting: Talking on the phone with my friend KB, who just nailed her job interview, about those who view nursing as 'just a job'.

Her: It's more than that. It's not just something you do for a paycheck. Something you sit at home and complain about having to go do.

Me: It is when it's cold and raining outside and you're laying on your couch covered by a comforter and a warm puppy!


(I jest. Kind of.)

Conversations At Work

"Who's the doctor on call tonight?"

"Dr. Halliday."

"Haliday-ee! Celebraeeete!"

"You are so 34 years old."


(ooh yah... ooh yah! Holiday!)

Heard At Work

"How old is the patient?"

"Sixty-nine."

"Sixty-niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!"

"How old are you?"

Caught Unawares

Seen outside of work:
An EMT standing next to his ambulance blowing snot-rockets onto the pavement.

Me, "That's awesome."
Him, "What?!"
Me, "What do you mean 'What'?"
Him, "Oh. Well... next time you see that you'll remember me!"


Yes, thank you. Next time I need to borrow an air-hankie I'll know who to go to.

Heard at Work Lastnight

"My crack hurts. Can I borrow your lip stuff?"